The Combined Federal Campaign Week 8

 

Everyone should know the joy of owning an abandoned gold mine that definitely does not have any gold in it and that's why you can't go inside.

Sharpened

 

Last week's panel was poorly drawn and colorized, and that has led to a great awakening in terms of sharpening the pencils needed to make all future endeavors a smashing success. It is well past the time to up my game, increase the peace, unlock all available achievements, and dominate the battle space.

In other words, I hope things don't suck!

The Combined Federal Campaign Kickoff

 

Once again, I'll be creating a series of Abbott and Gooseberry panels that will promote the Combined Federal Campaign for a certain Federal agency. I think these are the toughest ones to do. They have to be mildly amusing, feature limited anarchy, and promote the different causes that people can donate to.


I think the limited anarchy is the hardest thing in the world to pull off.

The Combined Federal Campaign

This is a ten panel campaign that I was commissioned to do for the Combined Federal Campaign, which government workers use to organize their charitable donations. I'm not sure how many people have seen the campaign, but here it is.

bop a killer

Just another day living as the alter ego known as The Pink Ninja, so, you know, nothing going on here.

swag bag

Just in time for the Oscars, of which I do not care, a swag bag joke...

the magical powers

milestones

dickweed killing

Occasionally, we end up with weird comics that aren't any good. This is certainly one of them.

cuddle pillow talk

It's not much to look at, but it's a real cuddle pillow. Notice how Farmer Butt is so distant and reticent with his own cuddle pillow that he can barely hold onto it.

hobbit hole

Any man who digs out his own abandoned gold mine risks being misidentified as a hobbit. There, I said it.

handle an episode

The "Rockford Files" was a pretty intense show. Lots of punches, lots of dialogue, lots of excitement. Abbott can't handle anything unless it is a blurry mess with no details.

the deal is

This is the worst Abbott and Gooseberry ever.

Worst as in eww!

no one laughs at a bride

It doesn't work and it isn't funny, but, wow. What a dramatic reading while inebriated in a cartoon kind of way.

rocking his ass off

This was an earlier version of the same thing...Abbott was a grunge rock God at one point. What the hell happened?

sweet corn and mr. pibb

I'm not even sure if this is a comic panel or not. It resembles something I do around here but it doesn't quite work. It's inevitable that I would revisit the whole idea of Mr. Pibb, though. I believe that Mr. Pibb makes quite the protagonist in any situation--a catalyst, if you will, of barfing and retching that is noticeably absent from polite society.

They Disemboweled Archie

That's dark:

Since 1941, comic book fans have followed the exploits of teenaged Archie Andrews and his friends. This July, they'll find out how he dies.

"Life With Archie" #36 hits stores on July 16, and CNN can reveal exclusively that it tells the story of how Archie sacrifices himself to save a friend.

Few details are known, but it seems fitting that Archie would go out a hero. The 37th issue one week later will end the series.

The "Life With Archie" series has been telling the stories of possible future Archie scenarios for the past few years, and so Archie will continue to be alive in the comics set in the present day.

 They took a knife or a gun to that kid Archie, and they left him bleeding in the arms of the women he toyed with. Speculation over who killed him will end once they reveal the whole story, but I would guess that he either crossed a high school heroin dealer or did a booty call that went bad.

jeebus

Farmer Butt loves to have imaginary conversations with his friend in the bean field, otherwise known as "Little Bean Worm." This is yet another character introduced here to accomplish little if anything.

tongue

We all need someone to call us on our bullshit.

rise up

This is the version I had to fix: